How you really feel
by Zoridya
Summary: "Principle Smith says you should speak to someone outside of a school atmosphere...like a therapist." Ms. Zoe responded with a sympathetic look. "I have someone in mind already. And don't worry, he's a friend of mine. I'm sure you'll get along fine." Somehow, those words were not reassuring to me. highschool AU LevixEren marcoxJean
1. Chapter 1

"Eren..." Armin sighed, putting what he probably thought was a reassuring hand upon my shoulder. I shrugged him off, glaring at him out of the corner of my eye. He looked back at me sheepishly, and I suddenly felt guilt twisting in my gut.

"Armin, we've...we've been over this! I'm fine OK? You worry enough for the both of us. But...I-" I didn't feel like explaining this again. The feelings were there, on my tongue but didn't want to be said. He held up his hands like he was being held up at gunpoint, sighing heavily.

"I get it Eren. I just want to help, and I know you don't want to admit..."

"Admit what?!" I'm on my toes in an instant, looking down at big blue eyes, which have widened to the size of saucers. I would of thought it funny, except nothing was funny about the way Armin loved to talk about how he thinks_ I_ feel.

He wants me to_"talk to someone"_

You would think I would know my own damn feelings better then anyone else. And the way Armin made every statement about me like it was one of his studies...

_ "You like this because it reminds you of-" _

_ "You feel this way because you-" _

"Ever since your..." He paused, "...died. You've been..."

I dug my hands into my sides, nails digging into skin. Sometimes I needed the pain to remind me I was here, that this wasn't just some shitty dream my mind had drudged up out of the muck to drive me completely and utterly _crazy. _Though at this point I couldn't even be sure If I was already passed that.

Maybe speaking to someone wouldn't hurt?

I Laughed at that. Everyone at our table turns and looks my way with strange expressions. God, do I really scare people that much?

The bell rings, signaling the end of lunch. I sighed, pulling my jacket on. Mikasa walked over and grabbed my books off the table. "Do you have you're homework for fourth period? You're still failing. You need to get that grade up," she handed them to me, with a suspicious look. Trying to judge my reaction.

"Yes, I did it." My eyebrow twitches, giving me away.

"Good." She didn't see it. Not as perceptive today as she usually is. She must still have her mind on exams, I figured. Otherwise I would have got told off again. I look over at Armin, still gathering his things.

"See you later," I said softly, feeling a bit bad about earlier.

"Yeah."

I don't know if I deserved these guys.

I made it to chemistry just in time, the bell ringing just as I sat down. I sat in the back, closest to the door, so I could leave first. No reason to stay in here longer then I had to, especially when the class was full of preps and people I had no interest in talking to. I dropped my head down with a thud. No better time to sleep then the present.

I jumped ten feet in the air when the bell rang again.

Wiping the drool from my chin, I grabbed my stuff and was out of the room before anyone had the chance to blink.

I made it out of the hallway and ran straight into a horse.

"Where ya going, Yeager?" Jean asked, tilting his head. "In such a rush to see your little boyfriend?"

"Fuck you. Where's Marco at, by the way? This is the only time I haven't seen you without that freckled punk being up your ass. Oh wait... bad choice of words." I smiled, pushing him out of the way.

"You shut up about Marco." He glared, expression darkening.

I kept walking. "It's pretty sad y'know...you spending all that time in the closet and yet you still look like your mom dresses you." I said not even looking down at the white tee and bright lime colored skinny jeans he was wearing.

"Well," he said darkly "...at least my moms not dead," He paused eyes widening, then opened his mouth again. "Wait...I-"

I glance his way, smiling.

* * *

><p>I'm sitting in the office, staring down at yet another slip of yellow paper. I Wipe the blood from my lip with my the back of my shirt. My heads throbbing a bit but that's the least of my worries.<p>

Detention.

It seemed like I spent more time in the office then in class nowadays. I leaned over, looking at the time. 2 o'clock. Armin is probably wondering why I'm not in class. Well, maybe he wasn't really wondering. He knew where I was. I know he won't say anything when I meet up with him later. And He knows I'm going to get another lecture from Mikasa when I got home.

"Eren?"

I looked up at the doorway. Ms. Zoe is leaning over, smiling at me. She had claimed we would become "The best of friends" by the end of the year. Who knew becoming "friends" meant being locked in a room with this psychopath for over an hour. She walked in, carrying a yellow notepad, and shutting the door behind her, sat down at the small desk in front of me.

Leaning forward, she asked with what seemed like burning curiosity,"So how was your day?"

"Just peachy."

She laughed like I said something funny. "You remind me of someone I know."  
>"You've said that before."<p>

"I know," she said with a grin, not elaborating. Scribbling something down on a notepad, she hummed to herself. After a couple awkward moments ticked by, she asked the question I've heard too many times in this room. You'd think they'd change it up once in awhile.

"So, Eren why are you in here today?"

I didn't say anything.

"...Jean?"

I just glared at the wall.

"Ahhha." Ms. Zoe looked up, eyes sparkling. "He really is your foil huh?"

"What."

"Foil character you know like-" She looked over, and seeing my confused expression decided it was pointless. "Anywaaay. This is your fifteenth time being sent to the counselors office."

"So?" I stretched. This had become a daily thing.

"Principle Smith has took notice of your actions. He says you should see someone outside of a school atmosphere."

I was confused."Like what?"

"Like a therapist."

Well, _that_ was new.


	2. Chapter 2

Wasn't sure about continuing this, but here I am...sorry for errors and stuff. And thanks for reading.

* * *

><p>I stand in the middle of a clean, white office. Looking over the tall oak desk, I gaze at the plaques covering the walls adjacent to me. Sighing heavily for what fees like the hundredth time today, I sit down on the leather seat beside of the door. The woman at the front desk- who introduced herself as Petra, Levi's assistant and secretary, informed me that he would be arriving soon.<p>

I wonder if he'll start with the ol' "What was it like growing up?" or maybe even the "What were your parents like?" and _of course _the, "...well, how do you feel about that?"

Why was I wasting my time? Though it's not like I have a choice...

The sound of a door slamming and footsteps brought me out of my reverie.

"Goddamnit Petra. Do something about that woman, I can't take much more of her annoying ass voice. Shitty glasses..."

More yelling from the other side of the door, a string of curses, and the sound of the door knob turning...

"Who the fuck is this?" I hear from behind me. I find myself wondering the same thing.

I sit motionless, then turning, I find myself looking into the eyes of a very short, very angry man. I take the time to look him over in that moment. Neatly parted black hair, hanging over dark stormy gray eyes. Those eyes are hooded by thin, black eyebrows furrowed so much its like his porcelain skin might crack from the stress. His pale lips are turned down in a frown, but his overall expression still carries a look of disinterest and distaste.

I find myself trying to imagine what I look like, just a tan sweaty teenager, sitting in a leather chair in the middle of a meticulously clean room.

"This is Eren. He's here under Hange's recommendation." Petra smiles sweetly, although she's a small women she doesnt shrink back from the glare he casts over at her. I admire that.

"Like I care what she recommends." Turning to me with a sour expression, he says "Get the fuck out."

I sit there, confused. After a movement, I realize he's expecting something. "Excuse me?"

"What are you, simple? I said get out."

...The hell? I come all the way up here, just to get yelled at to leave by this prick?

"Ms. Zoe told me to-"

"Tell shitty glasses to stick with the angsty teenagers, while I do my job." He states, walking past me.

Pulling out his chair and sitting down with exaggerated slowness, "I don't deal with brats."

"I'm not a brat! I'm Seventeen!"

"Exactly. Just a brat. Think life's tough now? Just wait until getting laid or taking a hard shit is the least of your worries."

What is _wrong_ with this guy? I've had enough of this.

"You know what, fine." I say, pushing my chair back. "I'll fucking leave. I didn't want to be here in the first place. Doubt you could be of any help at all, you doctors are all the same anyway. Dammit if I have issues. I don't care what you think. I don't care what anyone thinks." With that, I got up and turned on my heel. I reach for the door handle, teeth clenched, when a a softer voice speaks up behind me.

"That's better. A good start anyway."

I find myself staring back at him, confused, and he just shrugs one shoulder lazily.

"Can't say I can help much, but I can fucking try." He kicks the chair from under the desk, and sits back with an unreadable expression. When I look at him, and then back at the chair, he sighs.

"C'mon brat, take a seat."

Yeah...this is the start of a very good relationship.


End file.
